In Esquire magazine’s regular “What I’ve Learned” section, heiress, celebutante and overall media princess Paris Hilton hands out a few nuggets of wisdom. It’s not surprising that someone as saturated in the limelight can have some pretty out-there ideas about herself. Nonetheless, anything that comes out of Paris’s pink, puckered mouth is very amusing to us regular folk, at the very least.

Here are just a few excerpts from the section:

“There are definitely a lot of misconceptions about me out there. ‘Oh, she doesn’t work. She doesn’t do anything. She just gets money from her family.’ That’s not true at all. I was up making phone calls at seven in the morning, and I’ll be working until 1:00 A.M.”

“I was the oldest granddaughter. Everyone was so excited that I was born; they would always take pictures of me. My grandma would call me Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly. Ever since I was little, it’s what I knew I wanted to do–be a blond icon.”

“Once I’ve worn a dress, I can never wear it again. I give them to charities and they auction them off to help people with breast cancer, multiple sclerosis, and AIDS. Some that are really, really special, I keep in storage for my daughters. They’ll be vintage by then. I think my daughters will love them.”

“The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It’s beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, ‘Hey, this looks just like you.’”

“Because of my last name and the way I look, some people think I’m a spoiled brat. But I’m not like that at all. I’m one of the most down-to-earth people I know out of anyone in Hollywood.”

“Things may seem to naturally come my way. But I work hard for them, too. I have good karma.”

“You may not be able to be hot when you’re seventy-five in a conventional sense. Like, young people won’t think you’re hot. But your husband will, and so will people your own age.”

“Complicated” and “Sk8ter Boi” punk rocker Avril Lavigne likes to party, especially with gal pal Paris Hilton and oil heir Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis. Lately, she’s been seen drinking and partying in Hollywood with the heir and heiress. Avril Lavigne had dinner with Brandon Davis in the ritzy Pace restaurant, complete with a cool chauffeured SUV ride and after dinner drinks at the swanky CoCo DeVille. It seems that this punk rock chick has discovered the beauty of the night life.

Just a few days ago, Avril Lavigne was seen painting the town red with none other than “Simple Life” star, Paris Hilton. At Bardot, the two gal pals made a striking combination of contrasts – Paris Hilton’s revealing black tank and leather jacket with red miniskirt combination beside Avril Lavigne’s conservative heart-patterned zip-up hoodie with charcoal jeans and black shoes. Strangely enough, just a few months ago Avril Lavigne was banned in Malaysia due to her “too sexy” image. One Malaysian official even said that, “It is considered too sexy for us. … It’s not good for viewers in Malaysia. We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

Some have speculated that Paris Hilton may be asking for some advice for her next studio album, which is said to be heavily influenced by the work of dance diva Kylie Minogue. The dance-inspired album is rumored to be the next project of music producer Mike Green, whose recent work includes Paramore’s album. It hasn’t been confirmed which label will be releasing it the new album of Paris or when it will hit stores later on.

Although Paris Hilton’s long-time BFF, Nicole Ritchie and her hubby Joel Madden (Benji Madden’s brother) were at the same club, Paris chose to leave with Avril. Perhaps this new project of Paris is a result of her recent split with boyfriend Benji Madden. Paris Hilton was recently on the Ryan Seacrest show, where she said, “He’s an incredible person. We’ll always be very close. We’ll see what happens in the future. I’m still in love with him.”

More photos of Avril Lavigne out clubbing with Paris and Brandon Davis (December 2).

Paris Hilton smilingly posed on the red carpet celebrating at Diesel xXx “The Creative Experiment” at Matter in the O2 Arena London, Saturday night (October 11). Held in honor of Diesel’s 30th anniversary in the world of fashion.

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On Wednesday (October 9), while out in London, Paris Hilton ventured out for a day of shopping. Before combing the racks at All Saints in Camden, Hilton took a moment to pose with a fan who’s wearing a ‘I Love Paris’ t-shirt.

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